Post by xtremepsy on Apr 7, 2018 17:39:58 GMT -5
Here's a good campfire story. The women at the campfire will like it.
There was once a guy named Bobby who went into the woods by himself. No one would go with him because he was hunting a monster. He was camped next to a river one night when he smelled the most awful smell he'd ever smelled. It was like rotten eggs and rancid meat.
Then he heard a noise coming from the woods. A branch snapped. Then another branch snapped.
There was rustling in the bushes. Something was coming and it was walking on two feet. Stomp! Stomp!
"Who's there!" he said. "I got a gun. It's a giant killer!"
There was no answer. The thing just kept on coming. It came right to the edge of the trees. It was a big, hairy monster.
Bigfoot.
It growled and bared its long fangs. Then it came into the camp and charged at Bobby. Bobby fired his rifle at it until he was out of ammunition.
The bullets hit the Bigfoot point blank at his head and upper body. But it had almost no effect.
The Bigfoot swatted at the air as if he was swatting at flies.
Bobby tried to reload but it was too late. Bigfoot came at Bobby, raising its arm.
Bobby tried to defend himself but Bigfoot's hand came down on his head like a tree trunk on a clay pot. He was shattered into a thousand pieces.
When he came to, he found himself in a dark cave with a beautiful Indian girl named Moonblood. She took care of him and told him how she had ended up there.
"I went on a vision quest against my brother's wishes," she said. "He is a Shaman. His name is Tattonto. He tried to stop me by putting me in quaranteen like it was my time of the moon, but I escaped and went to Vision Mountain. I was waiting to receive a guardian spirit when I saw the Sasquatch appear. I thought it was the Spirit of Sasquatch come to be my guardian but it was the creature himself. He picked me up and carried me away and that is how I find myself here. I have been here for three days and nights."
Bobby could hear the Bigfoot snoring at the entrance to the cave, blocking the whole opening.
"He blocks the cave with a huge boulder when he isn't here," said Moonblood. "There is no way to escape. The creature is too smart and too strong."
"I shot at it several times," said Bobby. "But it did nothing."
"Bullets cannot kill Sasquatch," said Moonblood. "To kill the Sasquatch, you must first weaken it with bullets smeared with the blood of the hunter. Then you cut its head off. But you must remember to put your hand between the head and the body or they will rejoin and the creature will come back to life."
"If that's what it takes, that's what I will do."
He got up gingerly. Moonblood had to help him up. He had no gun or bullets but he had a knife. He took it out and cut his palm with it and smeared the knife with his blood.
Then he approached the sleeping monster. He inched closer and closer. The monster stirred and Bobby stopped in his tracks. It stayed asleep and Bobby went up to it and struck.
He plunged the bloody knife into the monster's side and it roared so loud it shook the cave and Bobby fell down. The monster got up and fell down weak. The blood of the hunter was working.
Bobby got up and stood over the fallen monster. It was lying on its back, barely alive. He went in to cut its head off with his knife and finish it off. The knife was poised for the first thrust.
But then his hand stopped in mid air. The monster's hand had come up and grabbed his wrist. Its other hand went up to Bobby's throat. Bobby tried to pulled it off with his other hand but he couldn't.
Bobby started couldn't breath. He had to push the knife in before the monster choked him into unconsciousness. He pushed down as hard as he could.
The knife went down an inch and then it went back up two inches. Down and up. Down and up. Meanwhile the seconds passed with every second bringing him closer to suffocation.
Bobby blacked out but not before Moonblood stepped in and helped him push the knife into the monster's neck. Bobby came to and told Moonblood to get out of there. He would finish the job. So she fled out of the cave and left him there with the monster.
Bobby looked down at the creature. It had no neck. There was no separation between the head and the body. So he made one where there wasn't one.
But then he forgot to do what Moonblood told him. He forgot to put his hand between the head and the body. Next thing he knew, the head and the body started going back together. Bobby hand went down in between and it stopped. Then he picked up the head and took it outside with him.
He found Moonblood waiting for him outside the cave.
"The head! The head!" she screamed.
Bobby looked at the head. It was no longer the head of a Bigfoot. It was the head of a man. Bobby dropped the head and it rolled to Moonblood's feet. The head looked up at her with an ugly grimace of menacing death.
She recognized the face. It was the face of her brother, the Shaman. Tattonto!
She screamed again and again. Bobby pulled her away from the horrors and, together, they ran away.
Something was following them and keeping pace with them. Bobby saw his face...
...but it was only the man on the moon....
There was once a guy named Bobby who went into the woods by himself. No one would go with him because he was hunting a monster. He was camped next to a river one night when he smelled the most awful smell he'd ever smelled. It was like rotten eggs and rancid meat.
Then he heard a noise coming from the woods. A branch snapped. Then another branch snapped.
There was rustling in the bushes. Something was coming and it was walking on two feet. Stomp! Stomp!
"Who's there!" he said. "I got a gun. It's a giant killer!"
There was no answer. The thing just kept on coming. It came right to the edge of the trees. It was a big, hairy monster.
Bigfoot.
It growled and bared its long fangs. Then it came into the camp and charged at Bobby. Bobby fired his rifle at it until he was out of ammunition.
The bullets hit the Bigfoot point blank at his head and upper body. But it had almost no effect.
The Bigfoot swatted at the air as if he was swatting at flies.
Bobby tried to reload but it was too late. Bigfoot came at Bobby, raising its arm.
Bobby tried to defend himself but Bigfoot's hand came down on his head like a tree trunk on a clay pot. He was shattered into a thousand pieces.
When he came to, he found himself in a dark cave with a beautiful Indian girl named Moonblood. She took care of him and told him how she had ended up there.
"I went on a vision quest against my brother's wishes," she said. "He is a Shaman. His name is Tattonto. He tried to stop me by putting me in quaranteen like it was my time of the moon, but I escaped and went to Vision Mountain. I was waiting to receive a guardian spirit when I saw the Sasquatch appear. I thought it was the Spirit of Sasquatch come to be my guardian but it was the creature himself. He picked me up and carried me away and that is how I find myself here. I have been here for three days and nights."
Bobby could hear the Bigfoot snoring at the entrance to the cave, blocking the whole opening.
"He blocks the cave with a huge boulder when he isn't here," said Moonblood. "There is no way to escape. The creature is too smart and too strong."
"I shot at it several times," said Bobby. "But it did nothing."
"Bullets cannot kill Sasquatch," said Moonblood. "To kill the Sasquatch, you must first weaken it with bullets smeared with the blood of the hunter. Then you cut its head off. But you must remember to put your hand between the head and the body or they will rejoin and the creature will come back to life."
"If that's what it takes, that's what I will do."
He got up gingerly. Moonblood had to help him up. He had no gun or bullets but he had a knife. He took it out and cut his palm with it and smeared the knife with his blood.
Then he approached the sleeping monster. He inched closer and closer. The monster stirred and Bobby stopped in his tracks. It stayed asleep and Bobby went up to it and struck.
He plunged the bloody knife into the monster's side and it roared so loud it shook the cave and Bobby fell down. The monster got up and fell down weak. The blood of the hunter was working.
Bobby got up and stood over the fallen monster. It was lying on its back, barely alive. He went in to cut its head off with his knife and finish it off. The knife was poised for the first thrust.
But then his hand stopped in mid air. The monster's hand had come up and grabbed his wrist. Its other hand went up to Bobby's throat. Bobby tried to pulled it off with his other hand but he couldn't.
Bobby started couldn't breath. He had to push the knife in before the monster choked him into unconsciousness. He pushed down as hard as he could.
The knife went down an inch and then it went back up two inches. Down and up. Down and up. Meanwhile the seconds passed with every second bringing him closer to suffocation.
Bobby blacked out but not before Moonblood stepped in and helped him push the knife into the monster's neck. Bobby came to and told Moonblood to get out of there. He would finish the job. So she fled out of the cave and left him there with the monster.
Bobby looked down at the creature. It had no neck. There was no separation between the head and the body. So he made one where there wasn't one.
But then he forgot to do what Moonblood told him. He forgot to put his hand between the head and the body. Next thing he knew, the head and the body started going back together. Bobby hand went down in between and it stopped. Then he picked up the head and took it outside with him.
He found Moonblood waiting for him outside the cave.
"The head! The head!" she screamed.
Bobby looked at the head. It was no longer the head of a Bigfoot. It was the head of a man. Bobby dropped the head and it rolled to Moonblood's feet. The head looked up at her with an ugly grimace of menacing death.
She recognized the face. It was the face of her brother, the Shaman. Tattonto!
She screamed again and again. Bobby pulled her away from the horrors and, together, they ran away.
Something was following them and keeping pace with them. Bobby saw his face...
...but it was only the man on the moon....